Roadblocks on My Path

dirt-road

“Oh, the plans of mice and men”…er, and women. Well, the decision of my application to IU came today.

First, let me give you some advice if you’re still in high school and you aren’t exactly achieving academic excellence: Get all the help you can. Find a tutor, find a friend who is good in the subjects you struggle with, study your heart out. Get the grades you need, because even if you aren’t thinking “college” right now, you might when you’re older. You never know where your journey takes you. You never know what you might end up wanting to do.

Second: I struggled, a LOT, my freshman and sophomore years of high school. Math is my weakest subject, and I didn’t have the drive to try too hard to change that. It wasn’t interesting to me, so I didn’t really try. My sophomore year was pretty much me slacking off in most of my classes, and I’m not even sure what else. Junior and senior years were easier, but harder too. I was attending the Adult Ed. in my town because of the fact that I had a little bundle of surprise come my way. The classes there were easier, but I was most certainly distracted. I graduated on time, but I most certainly didn’t do the best I could. My best advice to high schoolers: focus on school! Stop worrying about romantic relationships. Oh yeah, and definitely no babies. They’re adorable, but they tend to sidetrack you…a bunch.

Anyway, all that leads up to the fact that, guess what? I’ve been denied. Ouch. There’s the ouch, and ouch, and “wow, I suck”. There was my heart falling through the floor. The blood rushing to my head, making me dizzy. There was the feeling that I was going to puke right here in the dining room, all over everything. So, no, I didn’t get accepted. Looking back, I think I was expecting this. I wasn’t expecting this journey to be all smooth roads and easy sailing. (Which is probably why I’ve started looking into hiking and off-grid camping). After 5 years of being out of school, I was expecting bumps, side roads, and probably some back tracking. So here I go.

Am I disappointed? Well of course! I want this so much my heart hurts. But, all hope is not lost my dear friends. I will take the necessary steps for the appeals process. I will attend a community college and get some general education classes under my belt and then transfer in if I must. I will not give up.

That’s what this whole journey is all about. It’s about learning about yourself. It’s about evolving into the person you want to be. And it most certainly is NOT about giving up just because it got hard. I’ve been set back, I have not been defeated. And that makes me want to realize my dream that much more.

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